So have been driving the car for almost 2 weeks now. Feels good to drive. Every day in the morning before i take the car out i have butterflies in my stomach. I feel shit scared. But then once i start driving i do feel confident and feel better.

Today i had to take my folks somewhere else other than my usual route. I was shit scared. Then i realized there is so much difference in driving on the same route everyday and taking a new route all of a sudden. Then i had to park in front of a shop which had a sloping entrance. I parked all right. But then came a car next to me. When i had to reverse i hadnt steadied the wheel and was almost gonna crash onto the car next to ours. It didnt help that my dad was screaming from behind 'Turn the wheel the other way round, now Accelerate, change gear, go front, no no now come back'. By then i had 5 ppl in front of the shop looking at how i was going? One fellow giving me advice on how to reverse 'Half Clutch madam' he said :) But for once i didnt feel frustrated or embarrassed. But looks like dad was cos, he said ok you come out, i will do it. So out i came and then dad took over. 

It was a shame i would have loved to do it myself. Maybe another day. But at least now i wont get deterred from driving.

So its December the most festive season of the year. At least it is so when you live abroad.. Just a visit around the city leaves you feeling joyous and happy.. Every year by November the Melbourne CBD is all decked up to celebrate Christmas in style. From Flinders St to Bourke you can see stars and bells hanging across the streets. City Square and Bourke are the most busy this time of the year being the shopping precinct. And its just gives me absolute joy to walk with S or even alone for that matter to see such cheer spread around. 
Every year they have Laser projections on iconic buildings which is so much fun for the kids and adults to watch. 

The MYER windows are a delight to look at. Myer, is a mid-to-up market Australian department store chain and retails a broad range of products across women's, men's and children's clothing, footwear and accessories; cosmetics and fragrance; home wares; electrical; furniture and bedding; toys; books and stationery; food and confectionery; and travel goods

So every year at Christmas Myer decorates its windows with a new story. The windows are lively with theatrics, puppets and lights that make these windows come alive with magic. People come from very far off and queue up for hours to have a look at these windows. I have heard the work that goes into prepping for these windows is enormous.. The technicians/artists work for a yr and by now they already have an idea what to do for the next Christmas. Its just awesome.. Two videos from this year's display as below.



Some pictures of the decorations and laser projections in the city. 





Its been 3 days since i had my D&C. 

This pregnancy was a surprise, B and i weren't planning on the second pregnancy. The morning i confirmed my pregnancy with a test i decided to let DD and B know about it too. I made DD wake B up slowly and whispering into his ears that she is gonna be a 'Big Sister'.. B couldn't believe it and he kept asking me if this is for real :) We were really happy. I was 5 weeks along when the blood test confirmed my pregnancy. 

I didn't do anything extra to be careful with this pregnancy. I just continued with my daily routine, doing everything at home, spending time with DD and playing badminton every Friday. On the day i turned 10 weeks i had some spotting of bright red blood when i wiped off. Panic set in almost immediately, but it became brown spotting within the next 2days and all that Googling told me spotting in pregnancy was normal. In another 3 days i had an appointment with my GP who also confirmed 90% women spot during pregnancy. The next day i had the ultrasound booked when i was told that the embryo stopped growing at 6 weeks. Some abnormal chromosomes in the embryo and hence my body decided not to grow it anymore was the reason the doc told me for the miscarriage.

The day i was lying on the operating table for the D&C surgery, i started crying profusely just thinking about final this was. With one of the surgeons comforting me and the anesthetist telling me that the general anesthesia was going to be on pretty soon, they put on the oxygen mask, they tried it on twice but i just couldn't breathe and one of the surgeons did call it out as well. But the anesthetist said its mandatory i put it on as i was going to be unconscious and needed the O2 and at that instant all the crappy medical dramas i have ever seen came back to me, what if I didn't wake up from this surgery, what if i have a cardiac arrest due to not being able to breathe, what if i bleed to death, will the surgeons use a defibrillator to bring me back alive. With all those thoughts, i put on the O2 mask again, the anesthetist  told me the anesthesia was up into my system. I was asked to take 3 deep breaths and the last thing that came flashing to my eyes was the image of my DD sleeping in her cot and how i hadn't seen her smiling in the morning. She always wakes up to me hugging her and telling her good morning. I just couldn't imagine how B would feel if i never woke up or how DD will grow up without me and with that thought i was deep asleep. This would be the most near death experience i could ever have.

I was so damn happy just to wake up and see everything around me. Couldn't wait to get out and meet B waiting outside the surgery room to pick me up and go back home.