Sometimes in life you wonder how good/different it would be if you were born elsewhere. Say a different country… About being born in a different family I would not comment as it’s one’s personal view… But why do you get such thoughts? What makes you feel so?

Of course, then come into picture our very own cousins who are born here and brought up abroad… Ah god, you tend to go into depression if you spend just an hour with them… Same blood, same family but so much of a difference… That too in a larger magnitude I would say… What makes them so different? I wondered at nights to find a plausible solution… I may be right or wrong but I’m sure there are a lot of people who would want to strongly agree with my views…

A major reason would be the parental upbringing based on where you’re located… The next reason would be your friends or the American counterparts and also your neighbors… Parents who have settled there for a couple of years are already accustomed to the society and the upbringing there… They don’t want to force their kids over anything… It’s the kid’s choice all the time… They do suggest the good and bad but the kid wins ultimately… I wonder if it ever happens here… Let’s take a simple e.g. here… The other day my cousin and uncle were down in India on their spring break. My uncle works as a professor in a reputed University and my cousin is 15yrs old… What she eats, what she wears is all her choice… Since they have come down after a gap of 8yrs everybody in the family is excited including me… Lunchtime is when all of us are seated and anxious to have the really amazing food my mom prepared… My mom and I go around serving everybody… I come to serve my cousin and she immediately says No to the non vegetarian dishes… Apparently she’s a volunteer for the environment club in her school and has quit non veg food to avoid cruelty against animals… My grandma and mom try to reason it with her and make her eat but she’s steadfast with her decision… From then on what she needs on her plate is her choice... She refuses to be served and wants to help herself… And I forgot to mention her excellent table manners and courtesy… The way she says thank you with a smile on being served just swipes you off your feet… A sorry for saying No to your dishes… In India, even if people step on your feet accidently they just give you a rude stare as if you intentionally put your foot under their legs, forget the sorry and thank yous’ here!!! You don’t even get a polite smile back… People think you’re crazy if you try to be polite… When will people change I never know…

The kids abroad are encouraged to take cross country trips there just to meet up friends during their vacation… Here for a college trip you need to go on and on to convince your parents to say a Yes… And that doesn’t happen so easily… You undergo a series of question and answer sessions… Who are the gals coming with you? Are their parents ok with their daughters going for the trip? How many guys are there in your class? How good are they? Now I can’t give them a scorecard of all the guys in my class can I? Why cant parents just say a yes… I definitely accept they care for us and that they are worried about our safety… But aren’t we grown up enough to take care of ourselves… When will our parents give us that freedom or trust us with it? All through your life you are directed on what to do, how to do it and what not to do… Parents please give us a break… What you study, where you study, what you do during your vacation – everything is decided by them… Doesn’t our choice ever matter to them? Don’t they want to know if we are really happy doing what they want us to do… They just assume we are happy… If we try to reason out or show our displeasure then we are considered to be rude, arrogant, and selfish and a person who doesn’t respect elders… We are even forced to eat… Take a cup of juice, my cousin says No to it and my dad tells my mom, go ahead just give it to her, she’ll drink it eventually… That’s when my uncle says no don’t do that… If she says no then she will not drink it… So just leave it… I was wondering what would have happened if I was in her place… In spite of my repeated No’s I would have been forced till I ultimately said yes and finished the juice… God what life, you can’t even refuse a juice…

The way they speak English is something I would not forget… The accent is unavoidable, but the no – grammatical – mistake - statements are just too good… Nobody makes an issue if they don’t speak in their mother tongue… I don’t know why our uncles and aunts don’t make it mandatory… It’s really important that children know to speak in their native language… But they go ahead to learn international languages like French, German, Spanish etc… This would be the only point where I would disagree with their lifestyle/upbringing…

Its high time parents learn something from their siblings in US and UK… A drastic change needs to be brought in the way our children are being bought up… Some basic freedom needs to be given. If not in the upbringing, at least they should be given the freedom to choose their own career and the life ahead… I know someday it would happen when we will be proud to stand next to our American cousins without any regrets in our hearts… I am gonna make my kid feel proud for sure :)